Let the other person feel that it is their idea

If you want results, let other people come up with your ideas.

In the science fiction movie Inception, the businessman Mr Saito hires Dom Cobb, a skilled dream invader, to assemble a team to plant an idea in the mind of Robert Fischer, who is about inherit his father’s massive business empire. It is a simple idea. Saito wants Fischer to break up and sell his father’s empire. But the thought must be so deeply planted in his subconscious by having dreams within dreams within dreams that Fischer thinks it is his idea.

Mr Saito recognized that it is much better to let the other person think an idea is his or hers. Thankfully, most of us do not have to go to such extremes to achieve this, but the message is worth remembering. Most of us do not like other people ramming ideas down our throat. Even if the other party’s idea is very good, we may be reluctant to go with it because they will take the credit. In business many of us have come across “Not invented here” syndrome, where we get the impression that some part of our company is not enthusiastically behind an idea because we came up with it, not them. Bear this in mind when you are trying to convince someone to do something. Make subtle suggestions and let the other person think out the conclusion. This principle can be applied in business and personal matters.

Carnegie gives a few examples. In one a designer who made sketches of textiles and hairstyles had been trying to sell his designs to a stylist for years, with no success. Then he tried a different approach. He brought in unfinished sketches and asked the stylist to do him a favor. He asked him to look over the sketches and make suggestions as to how they should be finished.

The designer came back a few days later, got the sketches and finished them according to the suggestions. They were all accepted. The stylist accepted them since, because of his input, he felt they were his ideas.

Everybody likes to claim an idea is theirs. It makes them feel clever and important. If you are designing something, let your boss or a customer decide the color or some other feature so they can claim it as their own in some way.

Carnegie gives another example of application of the principle to personal life. A man wanted to go on a family vacation to historical sites in the Eastern United States while his wife wanted to visit scenic sites in the West. They could not do both. Instead of tackling the idea straight on, he spoke over the dinner table to their daughter, who had just learned some history in school. He asked her if she would like to visit some of the sites she had learned about in school. Of course she agreed. Then with no further discussion of vacation plans, his wife made the suggestion two days later that they should go East on holiday because it would be such a thrill for their daughter to visit the sites.

This approach also works well in politics. If you want something done, you might find it more effective to ignore your ego and let others steal your ideas. Carnegie gives the example of Colonel Edward House, an advisor to US president Woodrow Wilson. House learned that the best way to convert the president to an idea was to plant it in his mind casually and get him to think about it further himself. The first time he noticed this was when the president recycled one of House’s ideas as his own a few days after he had argued against it. House did not let him know it was his idea originally. He wanted results, so he let Wilson take credit for the idea.

If you want results, let other people come up with your ideas.

Sex is Energy

Channel your sexual energy into your desire. You
will be harnessing the most powerful force of nature.

The artist Beatrice Wood said that sex is energy. She lived to be 105 years old. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It drives people and animals to do things that they would otherwise not do. At its extreme, a male black widow spider or praying mantis is driven to sex even though afterwards he will end up as a meal for his mate.

Sex has three very powerful benefits – (1) procreation of the species, (2) a feeling of extreme happiness and well-being, (3) the power to achieve other things if properly channeled. Harnessing the power of sex is the 10th step on Hill’s Path to Riches. If you can channel your sexual energy into achieving your goal rather than satisfying your physical desires, you will be using great power.

Sexual power is strongest in young men. They seldom channel it properly, but when they do the results are incredible. Young men want to excel to make themselves look good for women. This is a response to an evolutionary urge to find a mate. Sometimes this energy is channeled poorly into criminality and driving cars too fast. But some young men do use the power to achieve greatness in business, the sciences and arts.

Look at how young some of the whiz kids of modern technology are. Mark Zuckerberg set up Facebook when a sophomore in Harvard. The company’s founding president was Sean Parker, originally of Napster, who already had an impressive record in innovation at age 25. Sean Parker’s father advised him to take risks in business before he had a family. Historically Mozart wrote music when very young. Einstein’s greatest discoveries were as a young man. If you are young, and especially male, channel some of your sexual energy into a goal and look at it take off.

Hill observed that most of the millionaires he interviewed achieved most between ages 40 and 60. This is probably still typical of business. Fifty seems to be a common age for entrepreneurs. At this age people have accumulated a lot of life experience and good contacts. They will know what they want and how to go about getting it. They are also more likely to channel sexual energy into the business than into physical sexual acts. They usually already have a family.

Men under 40 often dissipate most of their sexual energy by overindulging in the expression of sexuality. Sexual energy is also strong in women, and women can control it better than men. Many younger women are delaying relationships and marriage now and channeling much of their energy into their careers.

The desire for sexual expression is the strongest mind stimulus. Other stimuli include love, fame and financial gain, music and friendship. Humans engage in many more sexual acts compared to the number of offspring than any other creature, and engage in sex at all times – not just when the female is in season. Contraception is highly developed to allow sexual acts without offspring. This is because the feeling of happiness and well-being produced has created a market for risk-free indulgence in sex.

Advertisers use sexual imagery to sell their products. Designers strive to create work that evokes thoughts of sex. The power and energy of sex are so great that many political and religious leaders have tried to control it down through the years. Clergy in the Roman Catholic Church are unmarried men. But it is nearly impossible to put a cork on the bottle of sexual energy. The Catholic Church has experienced many sexual scandals recently because many of its priests were not able to control their sexual desires.

The trick is to learn to channel some of your sexual energy into your goal. I personally think of several women as my muses. They are women who if I were younger I would want to have a sexual relationship with. But now I think of them and it helps me channel my energy into my work.

You have to accept that you have sexual desires. They are probably the strongest desires you have. The more sexual desire you have, the more you can achieve in life. Just don’t let it destroy you. In recent years the economist and politician and potential candidate for the French presidency, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, was embroiled in a tawdry sexual scandal involving a chamber maid in New York. In the field of politics there is a fine line between having the sexual energy and animal magnetism that you need to be popular and over-expressing this sexual energy and becoming knocked down by scandal.

Bill Clinton is a very sexually attractive man and this animal magnetism made him the most popular US president of recent years. But it also gave his enemies a target to aim at. The charismatic president John F. Kennedy was also extremely sexual, if half the stories can be believed. But he lived in a time when the press was more easily controlled.

The best salesmen and saleswomen are highly sexual, with the same type of energy as Bill Clinton. This comes across with their hand shake, tone of voice, posture, emotions and personal grooming. They will always look their best. The best public speakers, lawyers and even clergymen have plenty of sexual energy. They will channel it into enthusiasm.

Acknowledge that you have sexual energy and be glad of it. It shows you are alive. In many societies sexuality is condemned, because of the bad outcomes that can come when people let their sexual desires run riot. But if you channel this sexual energy into your goals, you will have an unstoppable power.

Love, romance and sex can help channel your energy into worthwhile endeavors. Many people have achieved very well because of the support of their mate. The choice of mate remains the most important you will make in life. With the right person you can conquer the world. With the wrong person you will more than likely fail. When love, sex and romance are properly harnessed there is little that you cannot achieve.

The desire to please women remains one of the strongest motivating forces that there is for men. What is the point of achieving great things if you have no one to share them with? The woman who recognizes this desire in her man and allows him to impress her has nothing to fear from other women. The woman who restricts her man in his goals will lose him.

Channel your sexual energy into your desire. You will be harnessing the most powerful force of nature.

Become Mr Perfect

Become Mr Perfect is a highly readable and accessible source of ideas and inspiration to improve your health, wealth, and personal and working relationships.

 In a series of short, self-contained chapters, Ulick Stafford has distilled and summarized the applied wisdom and good sense of several classic works on self-improvement and personal development, by authors including Dale Carnegie, Joseph Murphy and Napoleon Hill. To this he has added the lessons learned through dealing with crises in his own life. The result is an absorbing amalgam of insights and practical recommendations.

 Become Mr Perfect:

  • shows you how to use the power of your subconscious mind to get what you desire in life
  • explains why happiness is a state of mind and is within your grasp
  • outlines the proven strategies for attaining success at work and in your personal life
  • draws on discoveries about human nature that will allow you to interact confidently and productively with everyone who crosses your path.

You can change your life for the better, and realize your potential. Become Mr Perfect shows you how.

Ulick Stafford PhD is a writer and motivational speaker. In the past he has worked as a Research Engineer for medical device and pharmaceutical companies and written a number of patents.  He received a PhD from the University of Notre Dame.  He is a distinguished member of Toastmasters International.  He lives in Wexford, Ireland.

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